the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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