I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
