And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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