i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize