I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How does one acquire holy water?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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