She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
