She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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