Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
