We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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