Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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