The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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