i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
