The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
