she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
