tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
