Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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