At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
