I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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