that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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