I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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