Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
