Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
