walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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