is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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