so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
