This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
