He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
