how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
