You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
