the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
