New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
