He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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