its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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