I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
