There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
