OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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