It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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