super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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