Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
