Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
