We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
