seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
