Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
