if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize