She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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