oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I pour the whiskey from now on
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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