he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
