He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
