Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
