I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sorry my hands just texted you
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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