btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
