I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
