Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
