I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
