How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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