I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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