Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
