But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Everyone says I win the strip club
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
