Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
