This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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