Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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